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620tcat
Executive Member
2754 Posts |
 Posted - 01/28/2010 : 8:21:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mynuts
no boag! don't change yer avatar. the one you have now is so epic plus it has mad cred, but if you really do wanna change it, pick something else besides that kitty and toilet paper.
boag, do you realize how awesome you are to me? i think you're like on your way to re-establishing good karma which will obviously do you so right in the near future, or when you least expect it. you're the fucking best. <3
are there any cougars in here?
How about this one then Ed.
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mimiluv
Local Fixture
Cuba
6396 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2010 : 8:24:20 PM
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| Gay!! |
Angela
8/26/09 sub free
9/6/09 benzo free
9/27/09 CLEAN!!!
Before you can see the light, you must DEAL with the darkness. |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2010 : 8:28:31 PM
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Completely gay.
I missed like 3 posts on the last page about changing my avatar. Weird. And here I just thought no one fucking cared, lol. |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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620tcat
Executive Member
2754 Posts |
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mimiluv
Local Fixture
Cuba
6396 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2010 : 10:02:37 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by 620tcat
LMAO. Both of you can bite me then.
 it would be my pleasure |
Angela
8/26/09 sub free
9/6/09 benzo free
9/27/09 CLEAN!!!
Before you can see the light, you must DEAL with the darkness. |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2010 : 10:21:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mynuts
boag, do you realize how awesome you are to me?
I ruv roo too, Eddie. |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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620tcat
Executive Member
2754 Posts |
Posted - 01/28/2010 : 10:49:40 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BOAG
quote:
Originally posted by mynuts
boag, do you realize how awesome you are to me?
I ruv roo too, Eddie.
I'll just take that as a no. |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 11:13:51 AM
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| Mano? I have a question for you... |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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mimiluv
Local Fixture
Cuba
6396 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 11:16:43 AM
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| Boag, check your PM's |
Angela
8/26/09 sub free
9/6/09 benzo free
9/27/09 CLEAN!!!
Before you can see the light, you must DEAL with the darkness. |
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mano
Local Fixture
2873 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 11:24:05 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by BOAG
Mano? I have a question for you...
Ok...are you wondering when to get my room ready?  |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 11:54:42 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by mano
Ok...are you wondering when to get my room ready?
No.
I've been wondering this for a long time, so I finally figured I'd just ask.
When you were on ODR, weren't you a staunch sub supporter? Maybe I'm mixing you up with someone else, so forgive me if I'm wrong. But if you were... what changed your mind? Just a'wondering. |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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mano
Local Fixture
2873 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 12:13:01 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BOAG
quote:
Originally posted by mano
Ok...are you wondering when to get my room ready?
No.
I've been wondering this for a long time, so I finally figured I'd just ask.
When you were on ODR, weren't you a staunch sub supporter? Maybe I'm mixing you up with someone else, so forgive me if I'm wrong. But if you were... what changed your mind? Just a'wondering.
Yes, kind of...I wouldn't say a "staunch supporter", but I did promote it as a last resort, more so when I was a member of SMARTrecovery.
What changed my mind was trying to get off of sub, and the way it robbed me of life, both during sub maintenance and detoxing....and it is kind of funny now looking back...a few people tried to warn me and I was in complete denial. Funny how we all think we are special and we all tend to think "That's not going to happen to me". 
I actually still think there is a place for sub, e.g. a short detox with a low dose, for no more than a few weeks, but these doctors prescribing 16+ mg a day and telling people lies like they are clean on sub, and they can stop taking it with no withdrawal once they wean down to 2 mg a day should all be shot....and the real shame is most people are like me I think....They don't see the damage they are doing until it's too late. |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 12:36:59 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mano
I actually still think there is a place for sub, e.g. a short detox with a low dose, for no more than a few weeks, but these doctors prescribing 16+ mg a day and telling people lies like they are clean on sub, and they can stop taking it with no withdrawal once they wean down to 2 mg a day should all be shot....and the real shame is most people are like me I think....They don't see the damage they are doing until it's too late.
Yes, I agree completely. When I was in detox, they gave me a tapering dose of sub for 8 days. Period. I felt so "normal" on it, when I was discharged I asked if I could be prescribed it for a little while longer. One of the best things that ever happened to me was they said, "No". |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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mano
Local Fixture
2873 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 3:10:08 PM
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The ironic part is I started posting at ODR around the time of my final detox off sub, and I was out of my fucking mind...seriously a raging lunatic, and I don't remember what I was saying, but I was just in the mood to argue with anyone and everyone...I made a grand appearance as a total asshole at Scotts site, and got banned from SMART and Reckitt's site all during that same time....and I most likely would have gotten banned from here if it weren't for Ratch's liberal policies  I still have my moments but I'm getting back to my more normal mellow self.
Well, the hip injection took...It feels better today, and the cold did make it here. The high today was 15...and I had to plow snow this morning I am starting to go stir crazy, and it's a while til spring.
Oh, I do have a trip in the works for Florida in a few weeks. I think I am going to drive down for a week with a friend, who is also looking to buy an investment property, basically in the same areas...I'm going to try and buy something while there, then if I can I'll come back to FL. in a month, stay for a few weeks to a month, and renovate the place...Probably I'll buy a single family home though, and not a condo, although I think I could adapt to condo life very nicely. At the moment I have a big dog so I couldn't live there with her. I've got a Realtor in Daytona Beach already, and need to find another one for Space Coast. So I'm getting a little excited about all this, although it is scary as hell too...I've bought and renovated lots of homes, but never one 1,200 miles away. WTF, I need some adventure in my life! |
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mimiluv
Local Fixture
Cuba
6396 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 3:44:42 PM
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| Do you need a fluffer for your road trip to FL? I will be available in a few weeks. |
Angela
8/26/09 sub free
9/6/09 benzo free
9/27/09 CLEAN!!!
Before you can see the light, you must DEAL with the darkness. |
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CTCheryl
Senior Member
USA
1121 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 4:05:23 PM
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BOAG & Mano & everyone...
So I used to be a huge supporter of sub even BFF of Sub pusher Nancy at one time! But she called me in one too many alcoholic blackouts so we broke up. I honestly felt it would buy me time to change my mind about using. If there has been a week I've wanted to truly use in the past 7 months, it's been this week! I've just had drama after drama thrown at me and I am sick to death of people. I know it's a full moon, but for fucks sake, can't they leave me alone??? The most difficult thing for me right now, today is, I am fooling myself into thinking (once again) that I can sneak a high and no one will know. I'm not on sub anymore so I could get away with it. This isn't a UA week so I could get away with it. On and on these voices in my head all this week. I haven't even tried to stop them. Am I doomed? I know one time won't be enough, but sometimes I just don't give a crap.
Has anyone else that has jumped sub come this close and not used?? What did you do not to? (besides go to a 12 step meeting)
THANKS
Cheryl |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 5:41:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CTCheryl
The most difficult thing for me right now, today is, I am fooling myself into thinking (once again) that I can sneak a high and no one will know. I'm not on sub anymore so I could get away with it. This isn't a UA week so I could get away with it.
Maybe you could get away with it. Maybe.
But YOU would know, and that's probably the worst person of all. You would get to feel all the guilt and shame and self-loathing. And for what? I 100% guarantee you that whatever you're hoping you would find in opiates, whatever little honeymoon you might have planned, will NOT be there. You will NOT get the high you might be imagining or hoping for. You will NEVER get that high again. It is an exercise in futility.
Life drama is going to happen whether or not you use. Of course, you know this. You are better able to cope with life's twists and turns sober than you are in an opiate cocoon. I believe you know this too.
Do you have a sponsor? Have you called them today? |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 5:53:25 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by CTCheryl
Has anyone else that has jumped sub come this close and not used?? What did you do not to? (besides go to a 12 step meeting)
THANKS
Cheryl
Oh, to answer this question. There a few times when I wanted to go and get some heroin, so I called a friend instead to come and get all my car keys so I wouldn't leave my house. Then he brought them back to me the next morning when I was feeling better.
What access do you have for getting drugs? |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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julie1129
Local Fixture
3212 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:34:19 PM
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Yo, peoples, Jules has returned!!!! The party can begin!!!
Sorry I disappeared. I've been working my ASS off, and then I went through this REALLY awful depression for almost a month!!! It sucked ass!!! I even ended up buying pills again!!! Fucking idiot that I am!!! I'm so fucking pissed at myself for doing it! But I swear, I was on the verge of throwing myself in front of a speeding train! It was AWFUL! And it just seemed to come out of nowhere!!! I'm like, what the fuck is THIS!!!
I'm blaming it all on Mimiluv, of course, because she asked me like a month ago, hey, how do you deal with the lack of energy, motivation, depression stuff after getting off drugs???" And I say, "WHAT lack of energy, motivation, depression stuff?????" I'm feeling GREAT!!!" And then BAM!!!! This shit hit me like a ton of bricks! It seems like it just came out of NOWHERE! So thanks, Mimiluv! You bastard!!!
I'm trying to sort of piece it all together now and see what the fuck happened. Because I feel like I was totally blindsided by this. But maybe I wasn't??? I don't know. I just HATE the fact that I STILL turn to drugs as the solution to WHATEVER!
Anyways, that's the scoop. I'm good now and the depression has passed. But now I'm left with a drawer full of pills....which sucks. That fucking opiate monster has been awoken....damn me!!!!!
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:38:26 PM
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Glad you're back, Jules, whatever the circumstances.
What are you on and how much?
Do you see a therapist for the depression? |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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mimiluv
Local Fixture
Cuba
6396 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:40:45 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by julie1129
Yo, peoples, Jules has returned!!!! The party can begin!!!
Sorry I disappeared. I've been working my ASS off, and then I went through this REALLY awful depression for almost a month!!! It sucked ass!!! I even ended up buying pills again!!! Fucking idiot that I am!!! I'm so fucking pissed at myself for doing it! But I swear, I was on the verge of throwing myself in front of a speeding train! It was AWFUL! And it just seemed to come out of nowhere!!! I'm like, what the fuck is THIS!!!
I'm blaming it all on Mimiluv, of course, because she asked me like a month ago, hey, how do you deal with the lack of energy, motivation, depression stuff after getting off drugs???" And I say, "WHAT lack of energy, motivation, depression stuff?????" I'm feeling GREAT!!!" And then BAM!!!! This shit hit me like a ton of bricks! It seems like it just came out of NOWHERE! So thanks, Mimiluv! You bastard!!!
I'm trying to sort of piece it all together now and see what the fuck happened. Because I feel like I was totally blindsided by this. But maybe I wasn't??? I don't know. I just HATE the fact that I STILL turn to drugs as the solution to WHATEVER!
Anyways, that's the scoop. I'm good now and the depression has passed. But now I'm left with a drawer full of pills....which sucks. That fucking opiate monster has been awoken....damn me!!!!!
 I feel great now I caused you to relapse.
A drawer full of pills, how many did you take? any? they make these cool things that people pee in. I have heard some people flush drugs down them? Go to it and flush that shit, damnit
Glad you're back!! |
Angela
8/26/09 sub free
9/6/09 benzo free
9/27/09 CLEAN!!!
Before you can see the light, you must DEAL with the darkness. |
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:43:30 PM
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| Wait, Jules... have you taken any of the pills? |
"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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julie1129
Local Fixture
3212 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:48:51 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mimiluv
I feel great now I caused you to relapse.
A drawer full of pills, how many did you take? any? they make these cool things that people pee in. I have heard some people flush drugs down them? Go to it and flush that shit, damnit
Glad you're back!!
Meems, I was only kidding. Relax, you didn't cause me to relapse. That was all of my OWN doing! I just liked the idea of blaming it on you. It kinda made me feel better.
And I am an addict. I've never flushed a pill in my life. It is humanly impossible for me to do.
I think I've picked them out of puke a couple times, though. Does that count????
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julie1129
Local Fixture
3212 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:49:55 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BOAG
Wait, Jules... have you taken any of the pills?
Come on, BOAG.....
Is this a trick question????
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BOAG
Senior Member
Vatican City
1063 Posts |
Posted - 01/29/2010 : 6:54:25 PM
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Ok, well, clearly you need to get rid of them. I wasn't much of a flusher myself. What I did do a couple times was give them to my friend and once to my therapist, with the express instructions that they could not give them back to me but they also could not flush them (that just seemed so wrong).
You have to get rid of them. You HAVE to. Is there someone near you that can help you accomplish this?
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"If for kindness you'd substitute blindness, please open your eyes."
Martin L. Gore |
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Topic |
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The Daily Grind Thread
